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- "Listen, asshole. Your job is to charge in there like an asshole. My job is to plug up your new holes afterwards. Understand, asshole?"
- ―Dr. Arts to Cort Mosley
|Dwight "Ike" Arts|
|Date of birth:||2209|
|Date of death:||2271|
Dr. Dwight "Ike" Arts was a wasteland doctor, a former soldier of the Geist Korps, and a founder of The Wily Bastards. A brilliant but callous man plagued by personal demons, Arts was a native of the brutal Corpse Coast, where he made a living profiting off the nonstop warfare, whether he was a soldier on the front lines doing the killing or acting as a freelance medic patching up the wounded. For a time, he attempted to settle down and start a family, but soon relapsed into his old ways and returned to the Coast. Arts was eventually captured, tried, and devoured by the Cannibal Court in 2271 for crimes against the group. His life story was immortalized in his former comrade Rufus Fengdu's play about the Bastards.
Born near the craggy shores of Flour Bluff in 2209 to Gerald and Wilma Arts
Life in the Geist Korps
The Wily Bastards
Arts had an average build
- "Remind me to blow my brains out if any of those fuckers try to snatch me."
- ―Arts referring to the Cannibal Court
- "I think this steak is giving me Art burn!"
- ―A Cannibal Court juror after Arts' execution
- "This meal is an absolute De-wight!"
- ―Another juror after the execution.
- "It's a shame he couldn't have waited until his next performance review, I would have happily drummed his goldbricking ass out of the Korps for general incompetence. Now we have to kill him."
- ―Conrad Brandt, Oberst of the Geist Korps
- "Fuckin' Ike, grumpy ass old man. Just 'cause you can't get hard with your old limp noodle don't mean you gotta be all fucking nasty to the rest of us you old fuck."
- ―Cort Mosley occasionally gets tired of Ike's constant bitching
- "Ike, I swear, you're the smartest guy I know. If it wasn't for the fact that you gotta bitch at everybody you'd probably save the world."
- ―Cort Mosley telling Ike whats up after a few drinks.
- "'Ey if it isn't my favorite doctor. Mike Hunt!"
- ―Rufus Fengdu was severely drunk at this time.
- "I'd sell you if they let me, doc."
- ―Brown-Eye to Ike Arts
- "Oh that doc's wife was a sweet piece of heaven. She was a nasty girl, the kind you don't take home to momma."
- ―Putney Swope Remembering Ike Arts
- "Cynicism, misanthropy: these are the easy ways through life. You will face a trial Dwight, and I do not know if you will make it through in one piece. Either way, I hope you will take heart and find a new way on the other side, one more suited to your potential."
- ―Rolento Hawke to Ike, hours before he is captured by the Cannibal Court.
- "Ike, you are an angry, old white man."
- ―Rufus Fengdu saying the obvious.