Ennio Morricone - Love In The Morning Lolita (1997) - OST

Ennio Morricone - Love In The Morning Lolita (1997) - OST

"We finish our jobs, at whatever cost."
―Lola's Guns' business model
Lola's Guns
Political Information
Group type:Slavers/Mercenary Company
Leader:Commander Lola Ensler
Motto:At whatever cost.
Societal Information
Headquarters:Old Jefferson Homestead
Location(s):Owyhee Watershed and Boise, Idaho
Notable members:Lola Ensler, Buck Red
Historical Information
Founded by:Lola Ensler
Policy Information
Allies:Boise Boys (varies), Morningstar Brothel, caravans
Enemies:Owyhee Watershed Tribes, Legate Jigatahi's Legion, Boise Boys (varies), the Bloodborne, Boise Mutant Horde

Lola's Guns is a mercenary company in the Boise Wasteland that also dabbles in slaving and guarding caravans. They are led by the enigmatic Lola, who leads the group with an iron fist and a cold heart. Lola's Guns mostly prey on wastelanders and the Owyhee Watershed Tribes, as they are the easiest to enslave without repercussions.



"It doesn't matter who I am. None of that matters anymore. What does matter is that I have something that you want, and you have something that I want."
―Lola Ensler to the survivors at the Old Jefferson Homestead upon their first meeting

The history of Lola's Gun goes back all the way to the Great War, making them one of the oldest factions still fighting in the Boise Wasteland.

Older tomes found within the Old Jefferson Homestead, Lola's Guns' home base, indicate that Lola's Guns was created in 2089, twelve years after the Great War. The group was originally a group of survivors that took refuge in the Old Jefferson Homestead after the Great War and tried to farm there.

However, it was only after a lone wanderer from the wasteland named Lola Ensler arrived that the survivors began to thrive. Lola molded the survivors into her own armed force and the Homestead into their home base. Lola's Guns was born originally as a defense force.

However, a need for labor on the Old Jefferson Homestead's farms drove the Guns to take more captives from the wasteland. These "captives" (slaves) were put to work on the farms, and the Guns survived. However in 2100, Lola's Guns was not very well know in Boise, as they mostly did not leave their farm.

Union Town

"This is for being such a cocktease, you sentimental bitch!"
―Rasp immediately after shooting Lola

In late 2100, a lone eyebot wandered into the Guns' territory. Lola's lieutenant at the time, a ghoul by the name of Rasp, tried to ward it off with a few warning shots, but the eyebot persisted, saying it came from Vault 4 and had a lucrative job offer fo any local "distributors of labor".

Upon hearing this, Rasp decided to cease his fire and took the eyebot to Lola herself. Hearing the offer (bring slaves to help in construction of "some type of wall"), Lola considered it for a brief time and decided to accept.

Lola's Guns gathered up a large slave train and headed to the site of Vault 4 to deliver it. The Guns were surprised to find the vault's Overseer and a couple robots above-ground waiting to greet them. The negotiation over payment for was initially hostile because the Vault's Overseer tried to pay the Guns in pre-War money. Thinking the Guns were being screwed over, Rasp almost shot the Overseer on the spot with only Lola stopping him. However, the situation was alieviated when a protectron, the Vault 4's Chief of Maintenance, came with the appropriate payment, caps.

Lola accepted the payment and was about to turn away when the Overseer gave her another proposition: supply them with as many slaves as Vault 4 needed to "complete their new settlement". After being told that the vault dwellers had the means to pay, Lola accepted. That began Lola's Guns' very first mercenary job.

After that, Vault 4 was in constant need of new material and slaves to build their wall. They became Lola's Guns primary source of trade and wealth, and the Guns prospered. The vault dwellers were almost completely reliant on the Guns, and Lola exploited that, blackmailing the Overseer several times for favors and extorting the Chief of Maintenance Dudly for extra, often trivial services.

As time went by, more and more people in the Guns and Union Town became more suspicious of Lola, as it appeared she had not aged since any of them had seen her. The only person who seemed to know the reason for this was her lieutenant, Rasp, and he was tight lipped on the subject. The only man to ask, a Gun himself, was dipped in hot tar. Not wanting to incur Lola's wrath, no one else asked.

In the wasteland, Lola's Guns became hated, as they began to make slave raids deep into the Owyhee Watershed and the Boise Wasteland in general. This began the long seeded hatred between the Guns and the Owyhee tribals.

Also, it was at this time that the Bloodborne were unleashed upon the Boise Wasteland. This served as a blessing and a curse to Lola's Guns, since it meant more protection money but also more danger.

Lola's Guns soon became invaluable in the defenses of Union Town, Vault 4's new settlement. The inexperienced vault dwellers often died en masse against any of the hellish things Boise had to offer. By 2145, the Guns had been hired on full time by the protectron Dudly to help defend Union Town's wall. Lola took full advantage of this, making Union Town a kind of second base for the Guns to expand their mercenary interests. Many independent settlements hired individual or pairs of Lola's Guns' mercenaries to assist in the defense of their settlements at this time, unaware of their slaving activity.

Lola's Guns showed themselves to be effective but psychotic protectors, showing little care for Union Town's security forces, with many Guns seeing them as weaklings fated to die. In 2148, the ghoul Rasp urged Lola to betray the vault dwellers and take the Wall and town for themselves to expand their operations even further. Commander Lola turned down that offer immediately, feeling obligated to fufill the job out of some remaining shred of honor. Also, the robotic defenses of the town and the vault made Lola doubt that any victory would be worth the cost. Rasp scoffed at this but obeyed Lola nonetheless.

Lola was called back to the Old Jefferson Homestead in 2154 to defend it against an attack by an Owyhee tribal warband made up of several disgruntled tribes. The battle was bloody but ultimately in the Guns' favor, with the tribals being driven back north into the Watershed. After that, Lola stayed at the Old Jefferson Homestead to assist in its reconstruction, letting Rasp oversee the Guns in Union Town.

Commander Lola was called back to Union Town in 2160 upon hearing it was being attacked by unknown attackers. When she arrived, Lola discovered that a scouting party from the Idaho Brotherhood of Steel (who had just recently expanded into that part of Boise) had attacked the incomplete Wall. Luckily, the small Brotherhood force was driven back by a determined force of security, mercenaries, and robots, but one thing became clear: time was running short to complete the wall. The Overseer knew it and so did Lola. The slaves were forced to work overtime, and the Guns stayed on as Union Town's protectors.

In 2188, the Wall was finally finished. After the Chief of Maintenance's in-depth inspection of the Wall, it was decided that the people of Vault 4 would finally be awoken from cryogenic sleep. Lola and the Guns would allowed to stay to see the vault dwellers emerge but after that, their contract with Union Town would be over.

Lola was actually quite excited to meet some pre-War people and prepared accordingly. On March 7, 2188, the people of Vault 4 emerged.

As the people walked out of the entrance of the Vault, Lola began to walk over to them to greet them before leaving. However, this was interrupted when her ghoul lieutenant Rasp shot her in the back and fired upon the emerging vault dwellers.

It turned out that Rasp had been mulling things over in his head and had decided to double cross Lola and take the Vault for himself. Convincing several other Guns to join him, Rasp had planned on assassinating Lola, taking control of Lola's Guns, and taking Vault 4 and Union Town for himself.

However, the Guns loyal to Lola fired upon Rasp and his supporters after he attacked Lola. The forces of Union Town, resentful of Lola's Guns in general and willing to fight to the death for their people, fired on both sides. The shell shocked construction slaves watched as a three-sided battle unfolded between their oppressors.

Union Town's robots and sheer numbers managed to overcome the Guns, and the mercenaries were progressively forced back towards the wall. Rasp and his supporters fought to the bitter end though, holing up in a Dot's Diner until they were all killed.

What was left of the Guns loyal to Lola fled over the wall of Union Town that afternoon, with Lola swung over the back of one of the more muscular Guns. The era of cooperation between Lola's Guns and Union Town had drawn to a bloody end.

Cloak and Dagger

"They're called the Empire of Dan? Fuck, I expected Nancy to at least die with some shred of dignity."
―Lola Ensler upon hearing of her lieutenant Nancy's death at the hands of a bunch of weirdos

What remained of the Guns with Lola, half of the original number, fled through Boise back to the Old Jefferson Homestead. The Guns there were in disbelief of the story told by their comrades from Union Town. Rasp had been the highest ranking member of Lola's Guns behind Lola herself and well-liked by pretty much everybody. That was not their top concern at the moment though. Lola was hanging near death from her wounds, and Lola's Guns had been unable to collect their last payment from Union Town, causing the Guns' pay to tank. Talk of desertion began to stir up and people became increasingly worried.

However, a crisis was averted when it was revealed that several stimpaks had manage to cure Lola. By March 29, 2188, she was walking around the Homestead again.

By 2189, Lola's Guns were back in the slaving business but only managed to take a few tribal captives for their farms on the Homestead as well as to sell to settlements under their protection. Soon enough though, Lola's Guns managed to to find a new market for slaves, the Morningstar Brothel, in 2190. The Morningstar Brothel, then exclusively protected by the Boise Boys, was in a constant need of new prostitutes, and volunteers and drug addicts were running low in those years. This new trade led Lola's Guns to prosper once again.

However, all was not well in Boise for the Guns. Hatred in the common tribals and wastelanders of Boise for Lola's Guns had risen to unprecedented levels. In 2201, Lola's new lieutenant, a tough old girl by the name of Nancy, was captured by the inhabitants of the humble Empire of Dan and lynched by the populace. Lola, in response, marched on the settlement, ultimately being defeated but taking half of the town to hell. That, combined with their regular slaving practices, made Lola's Guns even more of a boogeyman to the Boise Wasteland, brutal slavers who would steal your daughter for the brothels and your son for the fields. Lola decided to embrace and cultivate this negative reputation and in the late 2100s and early 2200s, Lola's Guns was one of the most feared factions in Boise.

However, the Guns' position in Boise began to slip in 2210s and by 2230, they had lost many of their protection contracts and had actually begun to resort to raiding to survive as well as slaving. However, everything changed in 2231.

While slaving the Owyhee Watershed, a group of Guns was caught in the cross fire between some Boise Boys and tribals. The Boise Boys targeted the Guns for fun and killed a few. Taking this as a declaration of war, Lola withdrew her slaving services from the Boise Boys-protected Morningstar Brothel and declared that she would attack any Boise Boys raiding parties in Gun territory, which she later did. The then current Boss of the Boise Boys, Frank Gastank, took offense at this and openly declared war on the Guns, swearing that he would behead Lola and rape her still warm corpse. Lola herself was confident this would not happen.

Knowing she could not hope to beat the Boise Boys in a fight in the open, Lola built up the Old Jefferson Homestead's defenses. This was a wise move, as several Boise Boy raiding parties began making drive-bys at the Homestead and killing the Guns' field slaves.

Feeling she had no other choice, Lola decided to resort to more underhanded tactics. Specifically, this meant using sleeper agents in the Morningstar Brothel to kill visiting Boise Boys and, allegedly, planting an IED on Frank Gastank's motorcycle in 2235. This spate of unconventional warfare made the Boise Boys reconsider their war with Lola's Guns and by 2236, the attacks on the Old Jefferson Homestead had stopped.

The victory over the Boise Boys had been costly, as it had cost Lola's Guns their contract with the Morningstar Brothel and many Guns in the process. After the war with the Boise Boys ended, Lola's Guns scaled back their slaving activities and focused mostly on raiding. This, as usual, was focused mostly on the Owyhee Watershed Tribes and unaffiliated wasteland.

Almost ironically, it took another war to bring Lola's Guns back to power.

Boise Chaos

"I feel like I might have made the wrong decision. What do you think?"
―Lola Ensler wondering about her decision to rescue the Morningstar Brothel

When Luther's Warhost arrived in the Boise Wasteland in 2256, that triggered a series of events that birthed the Boise War, an escalation of hostilities that was major for even Boise. Numerous small towns and groups were engulfed during the conflict and ceased to exist. Lola's Guns was not one of those.

The Old Jefferson Homestead sat far enough outside the city that it escaped the damage done by the war. However, Lola was fully aware of what was happening and fully intended to sit it out, hoping to not anger any larger factions.

Her lieutenant at the time, a borderline sociopath by the name of Allen Greg, had different ideas. Wanting to benefit off of the chaos created by the Boise War, Greg secretly began preying on the larger refugee groups roaming the area as well as the weaker factions in the city. Initially, Lola was displeased at seeing this but gradually, she began to see the advantages of exploiting the war's effects. Specifically, getting back her contract with the Morningstar Brothel.

In 2257, Lola made her move. Leading a force of Guns into the heart of Boise, Lola relieved the Morningstar from attack by the Boise Mutant Horde. However, she was dissapointed to find a sizable surviving force of Boise Boys inside the Morningstar. Wanting the kill them all at first, she (and Greg) were talked down by the rest of the Guns and agreed to split the contract.

For the rest of the Boise War (two more years at the most), Lola's Guns clawed its way back to power, one slave at a time.

The Legion Cometh

"I wish Jigatahi would just stick that big stick of his up his ass and fry."
―Lola Ensler after hearing that another of the tribes she took slaves from was conquered by the Legion

After the end of the Boise War, Lola's Guns emerged to become a power once again. Their clout was felt from the innards of Boise to the fringes of the Owyhee Watershed.

However, the Guns' power was challenged in 2268 upon the arrival of the Legion in Boise. Lola's Guns primary income, enslaving tribals, was threatened by the Legate Jigatahi's conquests in the Owyhee Watershed. Lola knew she could not stand toe to toe with the Legate's forces, even at the beginning, and decided to avoid conflict with the Legion as long as possible. This angered many of the Guns.

So, she reached out to the Boise Boys for an alliance in 2269 to try to strengthen the Guns' position. However, the boss at the time, Creed Headlight, refused Lola's request (because he was an agent of the Legion).

After that, Lola's Guns continued their slaving operations without harassing the Legion, fulfilling their jobs with the Morningstar Brothel and other settlements. The Legion's inroads into Boise became more frequent, and Lola became worried. The Second Boise War on its way...

Preparing for the Worst

"Listen to me you hunk of meat. I'll hold up my end of our agreement if you hold up your's. And if you even think of double-crossing me, well.. don't even consider it."
―Lola Ensler to Danny "The Man" Akimbo about their "alliance"

By 2280, Lola's Guns' power had reached its zenith and began to level off. The Legion's control of much of the Owyhee Watershed began to interfere with the Guns' slaving activities. This angered Lola greatly and began to make moves against the Legion beginning in 2282. This did not go well for the Lola's Guns, and the conflict spiraled into a little war. Lola, needing more support for her war, managed to make a pact with the Boise Boys, allying the two groups together against the Legion, in 2285.

Since then, the war between Lola's Guns and the Legion has simmered down. However, this has not prevented Lola from making preparations for another war. The slaving business continues but is more stagnant than usual, as the Owyhee Watershed has been mostly lost as a source of slaves. Still, the Guns make their "deliveries" to the Morningstar Brothel, independent settlements, and sometimes even Brotherhood settlements unabated.


Lola's Guns are not the most well equipped soldiers or mercenaries in the wasteland, mostly being equipped with scavenged U.S. Army surplus and pipe guns. However, the Guns make up for it with their reliability and experience.


Lola's Guns, for the most part, avoids confrontation with groups larger than itself and mostly preys on individuals or smaller groups. This often involves raids, as a pitched battle would most likely devastate the Guns.

Notable Members

Lola Ensler

A classic femme fatale, Commander Lola Ensler is the legendary leader of Lola's Guns. Reputed to be ageless, Lola has led the Guns since its creation. As beautiful as she is cruel, Lola is feared by many in Boise for her ruthlessness, tenacity, and lack of empathy. For this reason, Lola generally is mistrusted, even by her own employers during jobs, and only her most close consultants trust her.

Lola most often uses her wile and "feminine appeal" to her advantage but if forced, also demonstrates experience with weapons, both ranged and melee. She is a mysterious individual and keeps her secrets close. Lola used to be a very different person but as the years have worn on, so has her morality.

Buck Red

Commander Lola's newest lieutenant, Buck Red is her closest consultant and brain trust. The Guns' chief enforcer, Red primarily raids the Owyhee Watershed and the unaffiliated wasteland. That is where Red is most feared, and he has made many enemies over the years. That does not stop him from being a valuable asset within Lola'a Guns.

Buck Red favors melee weapons and shotguns over ranged weapons in twisted sort of honor. He is an avid reader of comic books, and his favorite series is Tales from the Front.


This has been written by MongoosePirate. Please contact this user before editing this article.
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