|Date of birth:||9/31/2265|
|Date of death:||N/A|
|Status:||Wandering sadly around southern Ireland with his friends|
- "This is bullshit from the planet of this sucks camel dick"
- ―Samieso Q.
Samieso was born to a stable family with two parents. His father worked in the peat marshes, shoveling cart loads of peat and dung all day. Sam's mother stayed home and drank, claiming it was an integral part of home making. Sam never saw his mother do any of the other parts of the job. Growing up Sam had the opportunity to go to school and a boarding academy. At the academy the children loved his golden locks of hair and his red apple cheeks, they called him a fancy lad. Being a fancy lad was in Samieso's blood and he dreamed of the day he'd be able to prance around freely on the Celtic hills. It was at the academy that he met his first childhood sweetheart a large African woman named Nombit. Sam and Nombit hit it off famously and spent a memorable summer holding each other's hands under his father's peach trees. There love was not to last though as Samieso's father was against racial mixing. Nombit disappeared one day and that night Samieso's family ate a big pie, his mom explained it was an old Manderly family recipe her great grandma had taught her.
The days of being in a high school musical academy could not last forever though. As Samieso came of age it was time for him to find a career for himself. There were many options available to him included the coveted prize of vertibird pilot. The competition for the job was so fierce that the school held a vote to determine who would get to apply for the job. Sam sent in his application same as everyone else and shortly later a poll was held. Sam had his hopes but the competition was fierce. His chief rival was a loud American blowhard. He reeked of cheep beer and he had entered the competition ironically to impress his jock friends. Sam didn't have many friends despite his appley cheeks and sailor suit, but he had hope, hope enough to win. Unfortunately, hope doesn't get a vote and the ironic American won the prize. Heartbroken Samieso left the school in tears, completely dropping his giant lolly pop as he ran away into the country.
During his aimless exodus Samieso ran into an old lean-to. Inside the lean-to was an elderly couple of ghouls, they took Sam in and taught him their trade. The pain of losing that election seared into his heart permanently but with this elder gay couple Sam found that there was more to life. The oldest man was a prewar ghoul who had claimed to live in America. He was a proud Irishman and claimed to have once been in movies. His partner was a diminutive man that barely came up to Sam's belly button. The midget claimed to also be in films but the older ghoul always claimed that was a lie. The midget would then retort that the other's brain was more mush than matter after all these years. The putdowns were very well rehearsed after so many years of evil gay marriage. Sam knew better than to wed two ghouls, let alone two gay ones. He left their home in disgust shortly after they taught him their skills with model aeroplanes. It was one thing to take a kid in and teach him about love and model aeroplanes, but it was another thing to gay marry.
Samieso gathered his school supplies and set off into the Irish hills, questing for a Vertibird and the end of gay marriage. He went from town to town both seeking out the loud American and speaking of the moral ills of homosexual unions. In the south his message was well received, but on the coasts and in the cities people shunned him. This was harsh given how appley his cheeks were. Luckily his mastery of model aeroplanes helped fund his moral crusade. Samieso was like the Johnnie Appleseed of stopping gay marriage, going from town to town being sad about losing a vertibird and stopping gays from marrying.
Samieso keeps a backpack and trapper keeper with him at all times. His trapper keeper is pastel blue and green. He has a collection of pencils he stores in the trapper keeper, they have comical eraser toppers. Sam's backpack is a sturdy burlap bag that keeps his trapper keeper and model aeroplane supplies safe. For personal protection Samieso has his red golden locks and appley cheeks. No one wants to hit a kid with cheeks that rosey.
- "Hey Kid, that sailor suit's not regulation grmmmmmmm"
- ―James McGraw of The Dagger Initiative
- "Hey that Samieso is such a needle dick"
- ―Ruby Jane
- "We get the Vault Dweller and Ireland gets... that."