Let's start with the first section of the Steelhound Clan, the "History" section. Now, I know that people on the fanon have the habit of writing in an "encyclopedic" manner, meaning that they write important details down rather than everything that goes on pertaining to the particular article. That's all fine and dandy but that does not mean you should just jot down what happened and expect us to care. If you're going to write an article you need to elaborate on those important points, this is something the History section does not do. As I said in my last review, the first paragraphs in any article is very important because that is where we decide "should I read more of this?". I also felt when reading the first section that is was rushed, not that the writing was rushed but that the writer was rushing to tell us what happened, and well that isn't very good writing.
Let's move onto "Culture and Economy", right off the bat there's an example of bad writing.
- "Both the Steelhound Clan's culture and economy hinge almost entirely on raiding and destroying settlements and pillaging them of everything of value. In this, they are no different from any other Raider clan. However, the Steelhounds also have several differences from other Raider Clans."
This sounds like it should be the start of a 5th grade essay. I know he's trying to give this raider clan a personality apart from just a wild raider-gang but this is no way to tell us that.
After reading the rest of the section, I have to say it was pretty good, up until the point of the labyrinth or "Run of Steel". Basically, it was a labyrinth outfitted with traps and people would fight their way through it. Now, it seems like an unrealistic part of their culture. I know he is trying to show an example of how brutal their lives are but I hardly think that any group would go through that much trouble to settle matters when dueling it out would suffice, the "Run of Steel" just seems straight out of The Condemned. Good for an action movie, not so good for a raider clan.
The Government section just lists the ranks, which I think is a useless aspect of any article, has no purpose. The following section "Skills and Equipment" is also useless, as the author could have written a simple paragraph telling us their equipment rather than listing them.
This article gets a 5.5/10. The concept is good but it would be nice if we had more detailed information on their history, I don't bother caring about groups that only serve as an antagonist to other factions, and the history section basically just made it seem as such. The article could benefit from not trying too hard to make it seem as if they are brutal and instead just giving more insight what it is like in their clan.