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Portrait of a Mary Sue

Actual Mongoose Pirate

The only image I could find of a mongoose pirate

In this blog, MongoosePirate, a history buff with way too much time on his hands, will look over some of the more colorful content that has graced this wiki in the past ranging from impractical weapons to impractical spin-offs of canon groups. Not all of these pages were bad, but all of them were deleted for one reason or another. Let's dive in...

The first entry in this series is a guy with an unfortunate name to say the least: the quintessential Mary-Sue Josh Everstrike. Created on September 2, 2010 by Greenhero55, Josh Everstrike started out as your run-of-the-mill first page. That is, he was a teenage vault dweller from Vault 326 (no description given) in the Philadelphia Wasteland. His mother died two days after he was born, orphans galore! At fourteen, he got his first gun: "A laser Pistol with Ammounition". Emerging from his vault armed with a Vault 326 Wasteland Manual along with his friend Luke Derker, John Everstrike set out to improve the wasteland like his inspiration, the Lone Wanderer. Coming upon a town named Argon, the two have some fish out of water antics and the page ends. Also, he's 7'3".

John Everstrike

The Man Himself

Obviously, John Everstrike was problematic for a number of reasons besides his rather sensational name. He came from Vault 326, a far cry from the canonical 122 (and god knows how many unnumbered ones). Also, he was a master of animals due to reading a couple of books. Commenters on his talk page tore the author a new one.

Ignoring most of the criticism, Greenhero added in an arch-nemesis/bully for Josh Everstrike, the equally banal yet bizarrely named Kyle Horanbourne. A sadistic retard with fetal alcohol syndrome, Kyle was about as shallow as a teaspoon. During his time in the vault, Kyle shot Josh a couple of times in their home vault and was not punished for it. None of it seemed to make sense.

After going through mountains of criticism, Greenhero linked his personal wiki and gave his "thanks" to his critics.

UMComics

The Title Image of Greenhero's Wiki. Remind you of anything?

All in all, Josh Everstrike was a rather bland character whose only real memorable quality was his name. He was just another Mary Sue Lone Wanderer ripoff that was passing through. I think the final comment on its talk page sums it up pretty well:

"Greenhero, if you had just put more work into your articles after you where told what was wrong with them, you wouldn't be in this mess right now. If you have the balls, take into note what has been told to you, edit your articles to create much deeper stories and show everyone how wrong they are. The whole reboot thing was done to clear out all the crap and make the wiki shine again, in the first place, so now there's a 'zero shit tolerance'. And stating that you will kill yourself won't help anyone. Not us and certainly not you. Reincarnation sucks, I'm sorry. ---Seqeu0"

The members of the wiki wanted nothing to do with Greenhero, and Greenhero did not want anything to with the wiki after he was criticized, another unfortunate lack of communication on this wiki. So, Josh Everstrike was deleted.

EDIT: I have recently stumbled across a blog post relating to Josh Everstrike. Thought it might be appropriate to leave I here.

Before The World was devastated by Atomic war, there was a skilled man who worked at Vault-Tec. He knew nothing about it's reasons for building the vaults. One day, the locations where each vault showed up as an announcement on his terminal. DC, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Nothing was said about Philidelphia, or it's surrounding areas. He was outraged by each location, and his family, cremated by Radiation. So, He Started his own, secret project, called the Everstrike Project.

The Everstrike Project was made to create a line of advanced Vaults in the Philidelphia Area. Basically, The Man Hacked into each blueprint into 92 of the possible 122 vaults, and combined some of them to create an advanced Vault. Then, He hired 139 builders and programmers to help construct these. there were only 2 problems: The funding, And naming each Vault. Solving the Funding was easy - he illegally took money from the vault project. The Second Problem was easier than the last. He made up random numbers for each one, and listed what each vaults were combined to make these:

  • Vault 150 - Combined From Vault 13, and 87.
  • Vault 240 - Combined From Vault 15, 22, and 76.
  • Vault 326 - Combined From Vault 31, 101, and 112.
  • Vault 429 - Combined From Vault 13, 34, and 92.
  • Vault 540 - Combined from Vault 22, 87, 106, and 108.

Eventually, the Vaults were finished 3 days before the bombs fell. Who was the skilled man, you may ask? That man, was Micheal Everstrike. He took refuge in Vault 326, along with many others who joined him. The Vault became Occupied an hour before Atom bombs hit the ground. Years Passed, and The Everstrike name became a laughing stock in Vault 326. Until a new hier to The Everstikes showed up:

Josh Everstrike.

Josh Everstrike Woke up in his room from what may be the worst night of his life. He was bleeding terribly from holes in his limbs and chest. They seemed like they were from Vampires, but they weren't. He got out of his bed and limped over to the cafeteria. Heading out of his apartment, he had a headache, which showed a vision from last night.

Spiked Knuckles, Villainous laughing, and punching. That was all he could remember.

He took a deep gulp, basking in what he's seeing. He continued limping over to the cafeteria, until a figure stopped him in his tracks. He's around the same size as Josh, Had Blonde Hair, blasted back like he's a hero. He's also very muscular for his size, and had an evil Grin on his face. He was Kyle Horanbourne - Worst enemy of Josh. He is a very popular man to every family exept the Waywards, The Derkers, The Hendixs, The Everstrikes, And The Hergrevs.

"So, Came back for more?" Asked Kyle. "you must love the sight your own blood, spewing at you like a geyser."

"I was only going the cafeteria." Josh Answered. He didn't want to get involved in a fight, One more hit and he could be in a coma for a long, long, while, so he said this: " Look. I don't want to get insane on you, don't you?"

"You sure went insane last night! You screaming, just over a little cut. It was even more fun when Shari Witnessed the whole thing! I pretty much own you. So you better do what I say, or..."

"You Shut up!" A voice cried from across the hall. "You better get the hell away from him, or your head will be cracked for a while." That voice was none other than John Hendix, Mentor of Josh's Father, also named John.

John Hendix Taught John Everstrike Everything he knew - Shooting, Battle Tactics, how to make a speech, Everything he needed to know about life in the Vault.

He took out his Mighty Double-Barrel Shotgun and aimed it at Kyle's Head.

A little scary to read this personally. I have a feeling Greenhero55 might have had some unresolved issues from when he was in school.

Next time, we investigate Vegas before New Vegas...

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