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The Adventures of Vault 42
Feeling down about life in the Washington wastes? Lost the feeling in your toes from walking in the Mojave Desert? One too many an erotic escapade in New Reno cost you the feeling in your lower body? Never fear; Vault 42 is here! Replete with a luxurious diner, spacious living quarters, handy storage spaces, well-trained security officers and secure, seal 'n' safe doors; this Vault is the place to be!

(Vault 42 and Vault-Tec Industries does not take any responsibility for injury, illness or death that may occur in the Vault; all residents required to sign waivers.)

TODAY'S EXCITING ADVENTURE;

The Cardinal of Kink

  • Vault 42 stands in it's early days, active as a small, 20 man settlement.
  • In comes this stranger; Kaiden Knight. The overseer despises him owing to Kaiden being a filthy beatnik's name.
  • Assigns Kaiden to Engineering, making sure that the reactors work.
  • Everyone suffers a happiness drop as a result of his being there.
  • Assign him to baby-making duties.
  • Just stands there smiling, watching potential partner's smiles droop into saddened frowns.
  • Clearly beatnik scum.
  • The overseer scours through storage, finds an old clergyman's outfit.
    Cardinal
  • Beatnik can wear this filth.
  • Suddenly, Kaiden's partner's are popping out babies left and right.
  • What the hell?
  • Kaiden becomes the main-man of the Vault.
  • People no longer hate this scummy, smirking beatnik.
  • The overseer grows to like him.
  • Assigns him to radio duty as ladies available drops.
  • New dwellers start arriving almost hourly.
  • Jesus christ.
  • Vault 42's population goes up to 40.
  • This beatnik is no longer Kaiden Knight, filthy pseudo-commie; he is Kaiden Knight, the Cardinal of Kink, lord of the ladies.
  • All goes well for first few days.
  • 3rd day, Deathclaw attack.
  • Dear god no.
  • Security team gets it's arse promptly handed to it in a glorious battle lasting all of seven seconds.
  • Deathclaw goes up and down the vault, murdering people who stay and fight.
  • All but one hope has been vanquished.
  • Emerging from his radio station room, armed with but a mere enchanced Combat Shotgun; the Cardinal of Kink.
  • Brutal five minutes of fighting.
  • Stimpaks flying alongside bullets.
  • Deathclaw takes one final V.A.T.S. 2.5 headshot to the face.
  • All are in awe of this glorious warrior, this most cherished of dwellers;
  • Arise, Kaiden Knight; Cardinal of Kink, lord of the ladies.

Bit of a new style for me; tried to emulate green-text 4 Chan Posts that are so common on Imgur and what-not. This may well be a recurring thing, in lieu of my "Pre-War America" blogs; Fallout Shelter is highly addictive after all, and there's no shortage of humorous moments in-game.

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