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You know those Facebook quizzes that are passed around via Notes? Well, I make it my goal to create the most smartass answers possible while telling the truth with those. Sincerity is rarely found. Below is an example.

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage = Milk, motherfucker!

2. last phone call =My dad

3. last text message =Jeremiah, asking for 40 cents to buy Daniel some shoes

4. last song you listened to =Take This Life by In Flames

5. last time you cried =Driving through West Virginia. Most depressing place ever.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice = No

7. been cheated on =No

8. kissed someone & regretted it=Now why would I do that?

9. lost someone special = In a sense, yes.

10. been depressed = Too many times.

11. been drunk and threw up = Not to my knowledge.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12.Black

13. Red

14. Green


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)

15. Made a new friend = Yep

16. Fallen out of love = What is that supposed to mean?

17. Laughed until you cried = No

18. Met someone who changed you = Yes

19. Found out who your true friends were =I already knew!

20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yeah. I don't mind.

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Yes.

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = Pretty much all of them.

24. Do you have any pets = My cats and my sister's got some fish.

25. Do you want to change your name = No

26. What did you do for your last birthday = Ate some steak and saw Valkyrie

27. What time did you wake up today = 8:40, then went back to sleep because it was too goddamn early

28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Reading about Abraham Lincoln

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Assassin's Creed 2. Fucking badass.

30. Last time you saw your Mother = Last night

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = I'd wish to be a little more awesome

32. What are you listening to right now = Land of Confusion cover by In Flames

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Too many times

34. What's getting on your nerves right now = Human stupidity.

35. Most visited webpage = Facebook or that other place that only a select few know about

36. Where do you want to be right now? = Stomping some colon in Ocean City with my friends

37. Nicknames = I really don't want to go there.

38. Relationship Status = Single

39. Zodiac sign = Who the fuck cares? But it's Capricorn

40. Male or female? = I do believe I'm a male

41. Elementary? = Get real

42. Middle School = Thankfully, no.

44. Hair color =Like a brownish black

45. Long or short =Long, but you can't tell

46. Height = About 6 foot

47. Do you have a fear? = Yeah, I do.

48: What do you like about yourself? = I really dunno. I have to live with myself, and I prefer to think about what needs fixing

49. Piercings = No

50. Tattoos = Naw

51. Righty or lefty = Righty

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery = Wisdom teeth, unless it was something when I was a baby

53. First piercing = None

54. First best friend = That Justin kid in Kindergarten

55. First kiss = There's been a couple. Not like you care.

56. First vacation = Ireland, 6 months old

58. First crush = I don't even know.

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating = Nothing

60. Drinking = Nothing

61. I'm about to = Pick a new song to listen to. Hold on...

62. Listening to = "Ruin" by Lamb of God

63. Waiting for = Something eventful to happen

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? = Yeah. I need someone to beat up upon when I'm down. Actually, sure. Don't worry, I won't beat my children. I'll just discipline them when it's needed.

65. Get Married? = Yeah.

66. Career? = Something smart and goddamn awesome.

67. Lips or eyes = Both

68. Hugs or kisses = Kisses, definitely. Hugs are easy.

69. Shorter or taller = Within reason

70. Older or Younger = Let's be real here. I'd say something within reason

71. Romantic or spontaneous = Don't think about it.

72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Both?

73. Sensitive or loud = Well, this question is obviously weighted. How about "introvert or exotrovert"? I find both attractive

74. Hook-up or relationship = There's a difference?

75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Don't think about it.

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger = No.

77. Drank hard liquor = Yes.

78. Lost glasses/contacts = SUNglasses

79. Played spin the bottle? = Yes

80. Broken someone's heart = Probably

81. Had your own heart broken = Too many times. It's not even a heart, it's just heart-colored dust.

82. Been arrested = No

83. Turned someone down = YES

84. Cried when someone died = Yeah

85. Fallen for a friend? = What the hell does that mean?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself = Sure

87. Miracles = Yeah, like Bioshock

88. Love at first sight = Dunno

89. Heaven = Give you something to shoot for, don't it?

90. Santa Claus = No

91. Kiss on the first date = We'll find out, I guess.

92. Angels = They're too badass to NOT exist.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

93. Had more than one bf/gf? = No

95. Did you sing today? = Yeah. You should hear how I sing "Trouble" by Skindred

96. Ever cheated on somebody? = No

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = Ten minutes ago to stop myself from doing this quiz.

98. If you could pick a day and relive it, what would it be? = Probably some kind of awesome day in Ocean City

99. Are you afraid of falling? = Nope, just the ground

100. Posting this as 100 truths? = Yes, with a little change...

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