You know those Facebook quizzes that are passed around via Notes? Well, I make it my goal to create the most smartass answers possible while telling the truth with those. Sincerity is rarely found. Below is an example.
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = Milk, motherfucker!
2. last phone call =My dad
3. last text message =Jeremiah, asking for 40 cents to buy Daniel some shoes
4. last song you listened to =Take This Life by In Flames
5. last time you cried =Driving through West Virginia. Most depressing place ever.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = No
7. been cheated on =No
8. kissed someone & regretted it=Now why would I do that?
9. lost someone special = In a sense, yes.
10. been depressed = Too many times.
11. been drunk and threw up = Not to my knowledge.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend = Yep
16. Fallen out of love = What is that supposed to mean?
17. Laughed until you cried = No
18. Met someone who changed you = Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were =I already knew!
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yeah. I don't mind.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Yes.
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = Pretty much all of them.
24. Do you have any pets = My cats and my sister's got some fish.
25. Do you want to change your name = No
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Ate some steak and saw Valkyrie
27. What time did you wake up today = 8:40, then went back to sleep because it was too goddamn early
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Reading about Abraham Lincoln
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Assassin's Creed 2. Fucking badass.
30. Last time you saw your Mother = Last night
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = I'd wish to be a little more awesome
32. What are you listening to right now = Land of Confusion cover by In Flames
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Too many times
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = Human stupidity.
35. Most visited webpage = Facebook or that other place that only a select few know about
36. Where do you want to be right now? = Stomping some colon in Ocean City with my friends
37. Nicknames = I really don't want to go there.
38. Relationship Status = Single
39. Zodiac sign = Who the fuck cares? But it's Capricorn
40. Male or female? = I do believe I'm a male
41. Elementary? = Get real
42. Middle School = Thankfully, no.
44. Hair color =Like a brownish black
45. Long or short =Long, but you can't tell
46. Height = About 6 foot
47. Do you have a fear? = Yeah, I do.
48: What do you like about yourself? = I really dunno. I have to live with myself, and I prefer to think about what needs fixing
49. Piercings = No
50. Tattoos = Naw
51. Righty or lefty = Righty
52. First surgery = Wisdom teeth, unless it was something when I was a baby
53. First piercing = None
54. First best friend = That Justin kid in Kindergarten
55. First kiss = There's been a couple. Not like you care.
56. First vacation = Ireland, 6 months old
58. First crush = I don't even know.
59. Eating = Nothing
60. Drinking = Nothing
61. I'm about to = Pick a new song to listen to. Hold on...
62. Listening to = "Ruin" by Lamb of God
63. Waiting for = Something eventful to happen
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = Yeah. I need someone to beat up upon when I'm down. Actually, sure. Don't worry, I won't beat my children. I'll just discipline them when it's needed.
65. Get Married? = Yeah.
66. Career? = Something smart and goddamn awesome.
67. Lips or eyes = Both
68. Hugs or kisses = Kisses, definitely. Hugs are easy.
69. Shorter or taller = Within reason
70. Older or Younger = Let's be real here. I'd say something within reason
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Don't think about it.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Both?
73. Sensitive or loud = Well, this question is obviously weighted. How about "introvert or exotrovert"? I find both attractive
74. Hook-up or relationship = There's a difference?
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Don't think about it.
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = No.
77. Drank hard liquor = Yes.
78. Lost glasses/contacts = SUNglasses
79. Played spin the bottle? = Yes
80. Broken someone's heart = Probably
81. Had your own heart broken = Too many times. It's not even a heart, it's just heart-colored dust.
82. Been arrested = No
83. Turned someone down = YES
84. Cried when someone died = Yeah
85. Fallen for a friend? = What the hell does that mean?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = Sure
87. Miracles = Yeah, like Bioshock
88. Love at first sight = Dunno
89. Heaven = Give you something to shoot for, don't it?
90. Santa Claus = No
91. Kiss on the first date = We'll find out, I guess.
92. Angels = They're too badass to NOT exist.
93. Had more than one bf/gf? = No
95. Did you sing today? = Yeah. You should hear how I sing "Trouble" by Skindred
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = No
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = Ten minutes ago to stop myself from doing this quiz.
98. If you could pick a day and relive it, what would it be? = Probably some kind of awesome day in Ocean City
99. Are you afraid of falling? = Nope, just the ground
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = Yes, with a little change...